Do You Like My Dragon Tree?
I got a big, thick letter in the mail yesterday. It didn't immediately appear to be a credit card application or an offer to consolidate my student loans, so I opened it. The first thing I pulled out was a letter.
Dear Friend, it said. Ooh, a letter from a friend. The best kind.
You sit, immersed in thought. The spark of inspiration you're looking for is just not there... Wow, this letter knows me better than I know myself. I was just struggling to write a paper.
Suddenly, through the darkness comes a blazing shaft of color. It pours from the depts of a cave somewhere in the back of your mind. And from that cave comes a host of majestic and magical dragons, each bearing a glistening spark of imagination, illuminating your soul and bringing clarity and brilliance to your thoughts... I guess "Puff the Magic Dragon" really is about marijuana.
Wow the letter continues. If it were only that easy (and exciting), right? But you'll be surprised at how inspirational The Dragons of the Crystal Cave can be when you see them up close and in person. Whoa, wait! You mean I get to meet dragons!?
Because, thanks to this Ashton-Drake exclusive ornament collection, these dragons can do more than just exist in your imagination Oh, so they aren't real. They're just... ornaments.
I opened the enclosed brochure and I must admit, they really are some nice looking dragon ornaments. Here's a picture I nicked from their website.
At $29.97 for the set of three, it does seem to be an affordable way to get ones feet wet in the field of dragon ornament collection. But that leads me to ask what one actually does with dragon ornaments. I mean, I have nothing against dragons in general. I have some very nice glass dragons I bought in Chinatown in NYC that I have made into perfectly servicable bookends. I've even named them Charles and Wallace. But dragon ornaments? Where would you put them? Can you put them on a Christmas tree next to the angel and the Santa Clause and (in some families) the pickle? It seems like they'd be a little out of place. So would you have to have a dedicated dragon ornament tree to display all of your dragon ornaments? And if you went that route, what would the protocol be? Are dragon ornaments a year round sort of thing or is there a certain time of year that has been dubbed dragon ornament season?
This is just all too much for me. I'd rather have a real dragon.
Dear Friend, it said. Ooh, a letter from a friend. The best kind.
You sit, immersed in thought. The spark of inspiration you're looking for is just not there... Wow, this letter knows me better than I know myself. I was just struggling to write a paper.
Suddenly, through the darkness comes a blazing shaft of color. It pours from the depts of a cave somewhere in the back of your mind. And from that cave comes a host of majestic and magical dragons, each bearing a glistening spark of imagination, illuminating your soul and bringing clarity and brilliance to your thoughts... I guess "Puff the Magic Dragon" really is about marijuana.
Wow the letter continues. If it were only that easy (and exciting), right? But you'll be surprised at how inspirational The Dragons of the Crystal Cave can be when you see them up close and in person. Whoa, wait! You mean I get to meet dragons!?
Because, thanks to this Ashton-Drake exclusive ornament collection, these dragons can do more than just exist in your imagination Oh, so they aren't real. They're just... ornaments.
I opened the enclosed brochure and I must admit, they really are some nice looking dragon ornaments. Here's a picture I nicked from their website.
At $29.97 for the set of three, it does seem to be an affordable way to get ones feet wet in the field of dragon ornament collection. But that leads me to ask what one actually does with dragon ornaments. I mean, I have nothing against dragons in general. I have some very nice glass dragons I bought in Chinatown in NYC that I have made into perfectly servicable bookends. I've even named them Charles and Wallace. But dragon ornaments? Where would you put them? Can you put them on a Christmas tree next to the angel and the Santa Clause and (in some families) the pickle? It seems like they'd be a little out of place. So would you have to have a dedicated dragon ornament tree to display all of your dragon ornaments? And if you went that route, what would the protocol be? Are dragon ornaments a year round sort of thing or is there a certain time of year that has been dubbed dragon ornament season?
This is just all too much for me. I'd rather have a real dragon.
posted by Yax at 11:17 AM
4 Comments:
While I routinely chuckle at your blogposts, this one gave me an outright belly laugh. Congrats!
HA! Awesome.
If I had dragon ornaments, I would have a designated Dragon Tree for Christmas. Yes, that is exactly what I would do. But it is not a year round thing... no... I feel that would be wrong.
"...It pours from the depts of a cave somewhere in the back of your mind...you'll be surprised at how inspirational The Dragons of the Crystal Cave..."
Hmmm. First of all they assume that there's a cave in the back of your mind...Plato's cave? Then, they infer that it's been crystalized. Since when do dragons live in caves made of crystal anyway? Is this good Waterford crystal with miniscule lead amounts?
"...I guess "Puff the Magic Dragon" really is about marijuana..."
Maybe the "crystal" is a drug metaphor for an altogether different medication.
Nice blog Yax. Let us know if the ornaments will live up to their claim of inspiring you.
Best,
Lee
http://www.english-blog.com
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